Tuesday, March 23, 2010

#24 - A CONSTANT

First, starting off with some recent yarny goodness - the cutest slippers with my favorite yellow buttons, which I knitted as a gift for little baby-to-be, Olive.

From Knitting, etc.


Now onto more serious business: I'll admit that if I've only gained one piece of knowledge over the last almost two years of grad school, it's this: life will always be changing on you... generally without notice and often not in ways you imagined or planned. In the last year, I've felt as if I'm standing in the ocean, getting hit by one crashing wave after the next, with no clue what's coming at me. And although these experiences are all at once upsetting and exciting and certainly character building, one constant has remained - an urge to create things.

In the moments when it seems like circumstances are destroying me, I have been retreating to my knitting needles, my notebook, my sewing machine, my embroidery hoop, and there I can find a sense of calm. I haven't produced a great amount of work and I can't say much of it has been all that challenging (Come on, how many variants of a knit beanie can one person make in a month?), but making simple items, especially for valuable people in my life, is rewarding and creates the illusion of routine when my life is at its most chaotic.

It's not easy to admit when you're not on the best emotional footing. It's even harder to recognize when it grows to affect everything you do. Only recently have I noticed how my crafting habits as of late are a reflection of my current, vulnerable state of mind. In the next few posts here, I plan to explore just that - so indulge me, if you will, as I reflect on these things. And don't worry, there will be lots of FOs and yarn porn to share along the way. Up for a little blog therapy, anyone? :)

7 comments:

Gabrielle @ Bee Wise Bags said...

You know if I could not create... something everyday I would crack. When I went through a dry spell in my late 20's, I never even dreamed of pulling out the sewing machine or a scrap book because I couldn't even keep my toilet clean. Yet I realized that I was using what I loved as some sort of carrot to entice me to be good or worthy. Now in my last year of my thirties I know that my creativity is not a reward for doing everything right but the way I should start my day, the thing to do when everything hits the fan... the way to want to clean my toilets. :) Dump it all out on the table, really look at who you are and what you want to be at 70... no degree or title can give that to you. I know I still want to be making things even if everyone else thinks it's silly. :)

CraftyCarole said...

Love the little booties.... very very cute! Hoppin' over from PEAR!

Crafty Girls Workshop said...

Hi Rachel,
Thanks for visiting me and commenting on my blog. This is an awesome post and I can tell you really meant it. I also agree that crafting helps me find a center. Lately I've felt that I've spent all my time on the computer and as much as I wanted to get in my sewing room and work on something, I never seemed to have the time. Well, this week I made a little promise to myself to only use the computer until around 12 noon and then get in that sewing room. It's been very rewarding! Thank you for sharing and yes, I will certainly visit you for more blog therapy sessions!

Anna

Nightphoenix said...

I've found that the order that comes from knitting, where each stitch has it's place, helps me find calm in my world where I feel there is less and less order.

Jane said...

Thank goodness for my creating. It gives me some stability in my life. It has been a rocky road for me at times these past two years, but we continue to move forward. Those slippers are absolutely adorable!

Marie-Jolie said...

Hang in there. It's been kind of rough in these parts lately, too, so I wonder if it's in the air?

Cute little booties.

g-girl said...

Olive. Such a lovely name and she's going to have such gorgeous lil booties. You know, in my regular life I'm learning what you've been learning in grad school! We are all so lucky to have a creative outlet. Not sure how else we'd deal with all our stresses! Sharin' some PEAR love. ;)